Love Is A Verb
by Pretty In PJs
Summary: A successful Joey returns to the small town she left behind to face the ghosts of her past, and the loves that broke her heart. Chapter 4 is up WARNING CHARACTER DEATH!
1. A Starting Point

Joey Potter sat on the dias fidgetting. She was nervous. She smiled vauguely at the crowd as many of them turned to look in her direction. The spokeswoman for the Women's Foundation Writing Award she'd won named off a number of articles Joey had published in the last five years. "It was only after her success as a feature writer for The New York Times that the Fiction bug bit her. With her debut book, _Only One of Me_, Josephine Potter shot to the top of bestseller lists and gained critical acclaim. She is here today to read selcted portions of this piece. The WFWA is her first award." With that the chubby red head stepped away from the podium, and Joey's slight form took her place. 

"Hello, ladies, gentlemen. I wrote _Only One of Me _over a period of two years while I finished college in London, England. The novel sat unfinished for nearly two more years because I couldn't decide which ending was best for the story." She looked up to see interested faces and felt slightly more at ease. "Rather than give a synopsis, I'll just read my favorite parts." Joey smiled quietly as she turned to the very first page and began...

"For most of my life there have been two loves in my heart. Two men. One the fantastic dreamer, the one with a heart easily broken and a dream to fulfill. The other, the wild one, with something to prove, a heart of gold, and the intellegence to get out of anything." She paused as a chuckle rippled around the room. "I spent my time with them both; I spent my childhood loving them both. I spent my adolescence dating them both. As I grew, my loved for the them grew, but they grew apart from each other, placing me in the middle of their battles." The interested eys follwed her as she stopped from behind the podium to sit on a stool placed to the side of the dias. "It was a long time before I figured out that their dissolving bond had little to do with me. So in the end I can't swear this is how it all happened, but this is the way it felt..."

Joey read selected passages based on her childhood and teenage years with Dawson and Pacey for ove an hour before she got to the part she claimed as her favorite.

"So I was left alone. And that ws when it hit me. I stood in the same place I'd stood a million times before and watched him fulfill a life long dream and I had no idea who I was. My heart, totally whole and mine for the first time in my life, told me what to do. So I got on a plane, and flew away." Joey looked up at the crowd. "I know myself a little more everyday. I know my heart and my dreams and they belong to me." She smiled as she read the last sentence and the crowd stood, applauding her. But Joey notice one form in the audience still seated. She cocked her head sideways and looked at the young woman. Later after all the congratulations and the refreshments, Joey saw the young woman approaching her. 

"Miss Potter?" Joey turned to the young woman and smiled. "I'm Angie Rapaport. I read _Only One of Me_ and thought it was brilliant."

"Thank you."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Joey said leading the young woman to a sofa.

"Who'd you end up with?"

"Hmmm?" Joey asked hoping she'd misunderstood the question.

"Well, I know it's autobiographical, I'm just windering how the story ended in real life."

A sad smile covered Joey's face. "Exactly the way it ended in the book I'm afraid."

"I'm sorry." The young woman stood and shook Joey's hand. "It sounds like you had something great for a while." As the young woman walked away Joey strated at her and felt her heart shatter all over again.

  
  


  
  


  
  



	2. Young At Heart

Love Is A Verb

A/N: For the sake of this story I am ignoring the last 4 episodes of Season 6 as they pertain to Pacey and Joey. All that happened between Dawson and Joey, Joey and Eddie..and so on and so forth still stands though. In my mind the last time Joey and Pacey saw each other was when they danced together and he walked away from her in "Love Bites." Everyone confused? All then let's go! PS Thanks to my sister, LaneWolf, for helping my put the idea to paper. 

Chapter 2: Young At Heart

The small town looked so much the same Joey thought as she pulled her new Mercedes M Class into a space across from Lerry's Fresh Fish. She looked left and right before she crossed the street to look in the windows of the resturaunt. "Joey?" She heard her name called bhind her and turned. Gayle Leery stood beside a stunning ten year old version of herself. 

"Gayle!" Joey said surprised. 

"Wow, it's been so long."

"I know, too long. This is Lily?" The young woman nodded quietly.

"It is. She's grown up a good bit since you saw her last. I read your book, Joey."

The smile on Joey's face faded quickly. "I-- it was, uh, I mean I didn't mean--"

"It was beautiful." Gayle smiled at the flustered younger woman. "I know Dawson thought so too. He's still in LA—working on a movie with Spielberg." The proud mother looked off into the cloudless blue sky. "His dream come true."

"That's wonderful, Gayle." Joey started then spotted the pot along Main Street that had held the hobby shop for so long. Now it was a combination Toy store and old fashioned soda fountain. She looked at the vibrantly colored awning over the door and lingered somewhere between shocked and amused for about ten seconds. _Young At Heart _the white lettering read. "Pacey." Joey said as Gayle follwed her gaze. 

"Yeah. It's pretty cool." Gayle said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

Joey didn't miss it. "Never got better?"

"No, honey. They still haven't spoken." Gayle sighed. "It's been hard on them both."

"I know." Joey whispered still staring at the bright awning.

"He's there today. We ate lunch there earlier." Gayle said. "You should go say hello." She suggested.

"I might." Joey nodded and squeezed Gayle's hand as she walked away. "Tell Dawson I said hi." Gayle nodded and Lily turned to give Joey's back a befuddled stare.

  
  


A tiny bell rang over Joey's head as she entered Young At Heart. Behind the counter of the soda fountain Pacey smiled at a snaggle-toothed little girl. "Thanks, Mr. Witter." She grinned. 

"Don't tell your brother where you got that ice cream okay? I can't have that hooligan in here anymore."

"Sure." The little giggled as she jumped off the stoll setting her chestnut curls to boncing. "Hey!" she said to Joey as she ran out the front door. "I got ice cream, Dylan and you can't have anymore!" Joey turned to watch the sibling torture with a lopsided grin. 

"Can I help you?" His familiar baritone asked.

"Hi, Pace." She said turning around to find the smile on his face gone.

"Joey." He nodded as he wiped ice cream residue from the marble countertop.

"Hey." She started a little too brightly. "It's good to see you. This--" She stopped to look around the store. "This is amazing, Pace."

"Thanks." He mumbled and looked up across his store. 'They say after you fall you always come back to what you love most."

"Ice cream and toys. It does remind me of the Pacey Witter I once knew."

"Yeah. Sweet and immature—that's still me." He sighed and looked her in the eye for the first time. "Even after 5 years."

"I know." she started still trying to keep her tone light. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah." He threw his polishing rag in the sink. "I seem to remember a dance and you breaking my heart."

"Yeah, I guess we're about even in that department."

"I guess, but somehow that part didn't make it into your book."

"Ah, I see. You didn't like Eric." She filled in the blanks regarding the character based on Pacey in her book.

"Ruggedly handsome is feckless and immature—no I liked him just fine. That you think of me that way—that I have trouble with considering you knew me better than anyone."

" Pace, everything was exaggereated. I took liberties with everyone. Even Dawson—I mean don't you think that James is just a little impractical and fanciful."

"Oh what nasty character traits." Pacey rolled his eyes. "I don't blame you, Jo." He shrugged. "I blame myself for thinking you of all people knew me better than that." He turned and walked toward the register. "The after school crowd'll be here soon." He said looking her in the eye again. "I've got a lot to get done before they come in."

"All right, Pace." She said slowly before she turned and walked out of the store. The jungling bell on the door sounded sad as she walked out.

_Welcome home, Joey Potter._ She thought with a heavy sigh.

  
  



	3. The Great Divide

Chapter 3: The Great Divide

  
  


"Yeah_ guess _Pacey's character came out less than glowing, but mostly it's true." Joey shrugged into the phone.

  
  


"Jo." Jen's sardonic tone warned her.

  
  


"All right so maybe I could've explained his motivations a little more clearly."

  
  


Joey could all but see Jen shaking her head at the words. "Jo, I thought the whole Dawson-Pacey thing was over for you. What happened to Steven?"

  
  


Joey sighed heavily. "Changed his name to 'Sky,' joined a band and moved to Seattle."

  
  


"Good grief. You sure can pick 'em Jo."

  
  


"Tell _me_ about it." Jo rolled her eyes. "So anyway, I'm going to see Gayle tomorrow."

  
  


"Tell her I said hello and hug Lily for me and Amy." Jen said as she swept her toddling little girl into her arms and cooing at her.

  
  


"I will and give that sweet baby a big hug from her auntie Jo."

  
  


"You got it! Call me when you find out how Dawson's doing."

  
  


"Will do." Jo nodded and hung up the phone. Talking to Jen seemed to ground her, bring the world back to perspective through brutally delivered thruth. And MTV seemed to know fearless talent when they saw it. Though they no longer aired the Loveline television show, they monitered it's radio success and were pleasantly surprised with Jen's hosting prowess, at least for most of the show. They were twice as impressed with her moxy when she walked off stage mid show. Within days they were calling her, and in a few months they had her installed in a New York loft three blocks from the studio where she wrote, hosted and co-produced _With a Bullet, _a successful talk show about hard to discuss topics ranging from teen musical tastes to teen pregnancy and drug addiction.

  
  


Joey looked out the window over the sink. The creek shot rays of sun haphazardly over the New England shore line. It was inviting, and knowing she had to see Gayle sooner or later it was irresistible. She threw herself into rowing and was soon at the familiar Leery dock. She sighed as she pulled herself on to the pier. She saw Gayle shove her spade into the winter toughened soil and smiled. Alexander and Lily rounded the corner and climbed unnoticed into the treehouse dawson had built her for her birthday. Joey smiled seeing the inside walls plastered with old movie posters. She walked across the newborn spring grass and called a greeting to Gayle. 

  
  


"Joey!" she responded with a quick smile and brief soil covered wave. She pulled her goves off and met Joey at the porch stairs where the pair hugged and walked inside arm in arm.

  
  


A few hours later Joey shook her head at Gayle's relay of Dawson's new movie script. He was in the process of directing the script, a throw back to his early S_ea Creature from the Deep_ days. "Except this time it's alien teachers." Gayle sighed with a shrugg. "Apparently the studio ate it up."

"Well, you know you don't argue with one of Hollywood's most successful writers." She paused unsure how far her boundaries extended, but with a heavy sigh decided she had to know. "How's everything else?"

Gayle looked at her searchingly. "He's dating some mystery woman. I haven't met her, but he assures me I'll love her. He's coming in for my birthday in a couple weeks. Then he has a two month break before he goes back--" She stopped and looked Joey in the eye. "To start shoot with Spielburg."

"Oh my God!" Joey sadi grabbing the older woman's hand. "I can't believe it!"

"I know I couldn't either." Gayle's smile drooped a little. "Joey, this might be totally out of line, but as he's my son I'm going to say it anyway." She sucked in a deep breath. "He's happy. Really Really happy for the first time in a very long time. If you're still here when he gets back..." She stopped thinking that her point was clear.

"I'll be leaving next Thursday, Gayle." She dropped her gaze to the polished hardwood floors. "I never meant to hurt him."

"It wasn't just him you hurt, Joey."

"I know."

"Have you seen Pacey?"

"Yeah, I stopped by his shop."

"And?"

"He hates me."

"No he doesn't but he's hurt. He never moved on Joey. Dawson seems to, but then I've thought thtat before, but it always seems to come down to the three of you breaking each other's hearts. None of you need that anymore."

Joey nodded swallowing hard against the burning tears clogging her throat. Finally able to trust her voice she stood. "That's why I came back." She said brushing away the single tear that managed to escape. "To lay aside old ghosts." She started to walk back to the pier when she turned and nodded at Gayle again. "Tell him—never mind, don't—Thanks for the talk Gayle." Joey said just loud enough to be heard over the distance that separated them.

  
  


When she arrived back at the B&B she closed her door and cried quiet tears against her pillow. 

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	4. While You're Making Other Plans

Chapter 4: While You're Making Other Plans

WARNING!!!! CHARACTER DEATH IN FOLLOWING CHAPTER!!!

A/N: This chapter was really difficult to write, but I did it and the rest of the story should move straigh up hill from here, because let's fade it there's no where to go but up.

  
  


Joey waited until she was dry-eyed and clear headed to tell her sister that she was leaving early. She stubbornly refused to call Jen knowing what her firend would say. She walked into the kitxhen and waited silently while Bessie finished putting the roast for tonight's dinner in the oven.

"So, you're leaiving?" The older Potter sister said without turning. 

"Bess, neither of them is going to forgive me?"

"And what about me, Jo, and Alex? We've hardly seen you at all in months and now you're leaving again?" she yanked open the door of the refridgarator. "Damn, no eggs."

"Listen, I love you and Alex more than anything, more than I can even say, but--"

"Don't." Bessie said shaking her head. Loving someone requires effort, action, commitment, hard work, Jo." The older woman sighed heavily feeling twice her age. "Did you ever understand that?" Joey stared at her sister's strained features and wondered at the wisdom that came from growing up too fast. "Watch Alex for a while?"

"Sure, go get some eggs." Joey nodded understanding her sister needed to get out of the house for a while. She grabbed her sister's hand and smiled at her. "Bess, I do love you and I'm sorry I've been taking you for granted."

Bessie smiled at her sister and squeezed the hand holding hers. She ruffled Alex's hair as she headed into the yard where Bodie was weeding the garden. Joey watched her sister spread her unconcious affection and remembered the way it had made her feel so many years before. Bodie walked toward Bess and they talked quietly a moment before turning to signal Joey that he would be joining her. Joey nodded at smiled from her place on the porch. Joey watched them ast eh dimming sun slid slowly behind them. They stood with their heads together, smiling at some private joke. Joey laid a hand on Alex's loose curls and went back inside to watch the roast.

  
  


The moon was tickling the surface of the water when Pacey picked up his phone on the third ring an hour later.

"'lo?" 

"Pace?"

"Dougie." pacey smiled. "How's Jackers?"

"It's not a social call, Pace." A heavy sighed escaped from Doug. " I need a favor."

Pacey felt his stomach drop to his feet. "Yeah." He prompted. 

"I just left an accident scene, Pace. A bad one. Three dead." Doug took a deep breath. "I need you to meet me at the Potter B&B."

"No." Pace wispered nearly inaudible.

"It's Bessie, Pace, Bodie too. They were both gone by the time I got here."

"God." He breathed, sick at the releif coursing through him. 

"I think she'll need someone there when I tell her, Pace."

"Yeah. I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes." He said pulling on a pair of losse fitting jeans.

Fifteen minutes later the Witter men stood somberfaced at the door of the Potter B&B. They looked at one another as Dougie knocked on the door and sighed. "I hate this part of the job." 

Pacey nodded at him and turned the doorknob as he heard Joey call "Come in!"

Joey turned to face her visitor from her position elbow deep in dishes at the sink and smiled widely at Pacey. "Oo—ooo." She chuckled. "Two Witter men, and one in uniform. Must be serious." She smiled, but it faltered on her lips as neither of the men returned hr playful banter.

"Jo." Pacey walked toward her and handed her a dish towel to wipe her hands on. Taking the newly dry hand he lead her to the couch unable to fid the words he needed. 

"Pace?" She asked knowing the look on his face. Concern filled her eyes. Sitting with her; holding her hand he nodded at Doug. "Pacey?" She asked without looking at Doug, her voice catching over the quickly rising lump in her throat.

"Joey, about 8:30 tonight, there was an accident on Bay Ridge road. A bir rig was cut off by another driver and it jacknifed. The freight trailer swept the road and took out two cars including Bess's truck." He stopped and let her absorb. "She and Bodie were bothe killed instantly, Jo."

He stopped and reached up to lay his hand over hers concern by her sudden loss of color. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Joey." 

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks and looked up at Pacey hoping he could help her make sense of it all. "Pace?" He looked at her tears welling up and shook his head. Doug walked to the door and turned. Pacey met his gaze and nodded. Doug left the pair alone in the B&B living room to comfort each other and mourn.

"Why?" Joey whispered looking up at Pacey. 

"I don't know, Jo."

"What am I going to do?" She asked him.

"Come here." He said wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She laid her head on his chest and sobbed bitterly while he cired his own tears and stroked her hair.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



End file.
